american beauty

I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second time before u die.
first of all, that one second isn't a second at all. it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time.
for me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars; and yellow leaves from the maple trees lined our street; or my grandmother's hands and the way her skin seemed like paper; and the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird.
And Janie, And Janie. And Carolyn.
I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world.
sometimes, I feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much.
my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst.
and then I remember to relax and stop trying to hold on to it. and then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.

u have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure.
but don't worry, u will someday.



-texto do filme "american beauty" depois que lester burham morre assassinado.


;~